Ch. 4 When the Dance is Complicated

I think everyone has been there; the yelling, the screaming, or maybe just dirty looks, no matter the degree of anger being shown anytime someone is visibly angry with you it can be a very uncomfortable feeling in your gut.

I know personally when I sense tense vibes in the air, whether directed at me or not, I get very nervous and jittery. I am a peacemaker so when things get tense I tend to shut down, or worse…. Cry…

I can not imagine the embarrassment I will be under the day I break down in the middle of a heated meeting. My hope is that after using some tips provided in this chapter, along with some of my own tips I have picked up along the way, I will be able to hold it together and be as professional as possible. That is my hope.

The mother in this chapter who is obviously upset I believe is feeling hopelessness. I agree with the reading about how sometimes we forget that in the middle of rages or arguments the true feelings behind these emotions is truly love. Love can drive and has driven many to fits of rage, or crying hysterically. Love is so powerful I think it is strange we forget that this is a main motivation for parents. The love of their child. Sometimes anger can come from years of bad dance partners. When we do not know what the root cause is we must stop and question things rather than jump to our first responses which is usually emotional and not logical.

One thing I will take away from this chapter and the reoccurring theme in this book is to not take things personally. On the flip side coming from the parents viewpoint I think it is easy to forget that parents may not understand where it is you are coming from either.

To close I liked how this chapter ended with talking about taking the “judges wig” off. I believe that is essential to coming to the table with new fresh ideas to better help the child involved.

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